Hello. I'm Cheryl, a Twenty-something year old stoned kid who loves indie music, heavy bass, novels, probability and statistics, physics, dark elements and beer. I especially can't stand bad copy writing or typography. My biggest and most embarrassing aspiration is to become a politician.
The content you'd find here mostly consists of curated mood-based music and cynical compositions.
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If in a point of time you felt capable to carry on a decision what makes now any different?
Do not doubt yourself, carry on and kick ass or move on and say your good byes. Do not seek approval and reassurance, because you should trust your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Waste no time with people who do not appreciate your efforts and love; where you simply can’t see eye to eye, accept there is nothing else that can be done. Fulfil your obligations as much to your abilities, but have no regret what did or did not come about from that. If you’re revisiting the same problem, do not let your emotions bring you back to the same approach; otherwise, just stop walking down the same street. Never forget anyone, you’d never know when they might pop back into your life. Do whatever it takes to bring joy into your life, whatever it takes. If you think you’re not going to get through this day, what else can you possibly do?
I have been feeling rather uninspired, so far I’ve about eight unfinished posts hanging there in that Drafts tab.
It’s the mid-year passivity, where I just don’t care and I’m disconnected from people and my “passions”.
I have spent the last month filling in my days with DOTA 2, yoga and pole. Weekends are homebody days where I fill my tummy with imaginary ice-cream (cause we can’t have the real shit destroying this body) and I spend my time in bed or on The Internet. The only thing I’ve been inspired to go is to get lady guns and work on finger dexterity.
In other news, I’m beginning to actually enjoy my work sometimes, and in all other instances it’s pretty much okay.
Differentiate staying silent and sharing silence. For most of us, we either don’t speak because we simply don’t care or we embrace a proof of comfort and security.
Which is why it takes a lot for me to become comfortable.
I talk a lot, but not in the mindless chatter sort of manner. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sharing silences. Silences allow people to speak with their eyes, a twitch in their mouths,and the movement of their bodies. I enjoy feeling the warmth of another person radiate into me as I read a book, flopping into bed while my significant other is raging over the Xbox, and staring out into nothingness on a bus ride.
But, I always seem to have a burning philosophical or a ELI5 question that can’t be answered with a simple Google search. I’m constantly tunnelling into people’s heads, foraging for their opinions, browsing through their library of knowledge, it has become a need for me to constantly connect with people in that manner, and I’m never satisfied.
I keep my connections as if they are loyalties; they extend beyond geographical boundaries, physical presence, and time limits. I have several friends who have become like “pen pals” for the reason that they are in a different time-zone, or simply just home bodies who prefer staying in front of their screens; but we spend hours on our screens, working our fingers as we laugh, complain, and uncover the biggest mysteries in our lives. It makes me feel as though I don’t even need to physically be with that person to be emotionally fulfilled and connected.
I think that has greatly shaped the way I feel about relationships. The desire to be physically close to someone always seems to increase when an emotive void appears, it’s a desperate attempt (because doing something is better than sitting watch) to establish some sort of connection in fear that you would lose it forever. It’s basic application to Freud and Maslow isn’t it?
This is why.
When technology finally manages to beat the geographical gap in long-distance relationships when it comes to sex (almost there examples), you would be able to cheat without really cheating.
I really have a lot of things to say but I bought eight games from the Steam summer sales, so you can pretty much tell I’m quite preoccupied.
Because I like being enclosed in this hunk of metal; because in here I can sit alone in silence with my thoughts or drown them out in sound and zone out.
Tune into the soft melodies of folk and the gentle voices of female vocalists, synchronise my heartbeats to the feel good of catchy tunes, or feel the vibrations of heavy bass as the beat drops; all without concern of consideration.
At the same time, I choose between a slow drive towards the seaside or a test of dexterity through miles of asphalt - limits undetermined by the physical strength of my body but of the agility of my mind as the wind combs through.
This is why these drive-bys exist for me; a certain type of sanctuary, in my car stereo and the engine.